actuallyxana:

hetaliangonewild:

When I go back to school tomorrow

what kind of connection does this guy have how does he make these omfg

dontbearuiner:

krumla:

How can you make the two greatest assassins in the universe completely useless and boring?

Oh man.

I loved GotG, but this is fantastic and true.

animals-riding-animals:

bird riding cat

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

detoxys:

BYE

32,975

That’s the number of arrest warrants issued in Ferguson last year for nonviolent crimes. Compare that to the population of 21,135 people.

Ferguson is making bank off its own citizens

(via micdotcom)

"White citizens were stopped less than 13% of the time despite making up 29% of the population"

At some point I’ll stop talking about Ferguson. Today is not that day.

(via tinyhousedarling)


shaman-music:

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

image

DAPHNE WHO THE FUCK U THINK U FOOLIN 

fred finna tear it up in the basement

terminallycheesy:

forfuturereferenceonly:

ohio-is4-lovers:

a christmas themed porn movie called “it’s beginning to look a lot like fistmas

Really tumblr? A fucking “joke” about a religious holiday celebrated by billions in the world? It’s really disrespectful. Also glorification of porn? Not only it displays submissive/dominant interactions in sexual exchange, it also underrepresents asexual individuals. 

Looks like someone didn’t get any fistmas presents this year.

anxious-children:

methlaboratories:

CAN I GET A HELL YEAH IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP

HELL YEAH

letusdotherp:

Do you ever just carry a happy demeanor to avoid drama but on the inside you’re like:

image

image

I̯͙͓̙ ̥͍̯̲w͕̩̞il͇͚̞̮̱͓ḽ̱̬ ̪̟͚͖̖̪c̫̬̦͉̘̟r̥̦̟̱̦͚͈a̺̫̖̳̩͚ͅc͖̺̹k̗̥ ͙y̯̹̗͔̺͈̖o̱̝ͅu͚͉r ̜̫h͇̳̹̳͎̻̱e͙̙̪͚a̳̣̼̣̝̦͉d̼̙̫ ̗̳a̲g̬̤̣ͅa̦in̘̱̪s̞̫͔t͉̦ ̝̹̦̤̣̯̲t͉̱͓̬̬̭h̰̝͇e ̩͔̼pa̞̤͉̞͙v̩͇̣̺̱e̞̠̠m͙̱e̻n̺̰t̤͕

lovebitchesandglitter:

this is fucking golden

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